I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
