that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
