I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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