just tell him i said nine months
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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