either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
