At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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