i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
