im gay
i know
yea but for you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
