I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
