did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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