Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
