She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
