In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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