put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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