Can i not drive my cunt home
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
