I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
