Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
