so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
