He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
