Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im holly from the hills drunk
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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