so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
