Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
