All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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