I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
