I think I died a long time ago.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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