then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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