do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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