there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
