Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You made out with two different species that night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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