Yo dont text me then not text me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
