How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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