Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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