so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize