He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
