My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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