just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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