I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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