his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
