Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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