Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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