like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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