So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
