It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
