dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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