my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
