I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
