its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
