You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
