..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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