I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
