But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
