just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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