i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize