Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
