Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Acid is not a monday night drug
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
