we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
