I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
