She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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