Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
