Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize