you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
