Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
