anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
