How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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