you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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