she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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