we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize