you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
