her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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