Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
