i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think i have herpe
just one?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
